The Day I Almost Beat Up a Burglar (Or, How “Friends” Could Have Saved My Life)

By now, most of you know that I telecommute to the office most days of the week and work from my little apartment.

This is where our story takes place. Yesterday, I was busily working looking for recipes on Pinterest, when I heard a scratching at the door. I immediately froze. I waited to see if I could hear it again.


Silly hobbit, I told myself, it was probably the neighbors. Or you typing and clicking.

A few hours later, I heard it again. And, again, I froze in fear.

What the heck am I going to do? Do you remember anything from the episode of Friends when Rachel and Phoebe took the self-defense class? (Not kidding; that was my first thought. I’ve never taken a single self-defense class but I have seen every episode of Friends at least twenty-nine times.)

Of course, I remembered nothing. Except that Ross kept talking about unagi and tried hiding in the girls’ apartmentin an effort to show he was more advanced than they were. (This thought, by the way, made me literally laugh out loud at the memory of Ross. Which in turn made me think of another one of my favorite episodes of Friends.)

I was almost about to completely forget about the burglar and go pop in one of my Friends DVDs, when I heard the scratching again. I snapped back into reality and went up to get a knife from the kitchen.

It sounds like he’s trying to unlock the door! I thought, panic-stricken. Then I remembered the knife in my hand. Dude’s about to get a change of religion! I laughed at my perverted humor.

Hand shaking, I decided to just go for it, I unlocked the door and wrenched it open saying “YEAH?!”

No one was there.

Feeling like an idiot, I closed the door and locked it. Then, I heard the scratching again. Thinking I was going crazy, I looking out the peep hole. Only, I couldn’t see anything in through the peep hole. Why, you ask? Because the Halloween decorations I put up four days before were covering the peep hole…and being brushed by the wind, scratching up against the door.

Yes, I was almost attacked by a glittery door hanging.

The Cat Burglar. *Word-Play Five!*

6 thoughts on “The Day I Almost Beat Up a Burglar (Or, How “Friends” Could Have Saved My Life)

  1. Pingback: Crazy or Brave? « The Huffman Post

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s