#PreggoProbs

When I was planning my wedding, I got a lot of tips from well-meaning people:

 

Don’t use real flowers; they’re a waste of money.

 

Don’t use fake flowers, they look cheap.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT use {insert random photographer, caterer, rabbi, DJ, or magician’s name here} we hated them.

 

You should have your wedding at night, its better for people with kids.

 

You should have your wedding during the day, its better for single people that want to go out later.

 

Wear your hair up.

 

Wear your hair down.

 

Now that I’m pregnant, it’s like wedding planning all over again. Except with the wedding I was in a gorgeous gown, my skin glowed with a fabulous tan, and I got to go to Hawaii. With pregnancy, all I’ve had is morning sickness, dark circles under my eyes, and the ability to clear rooms with an inexplicable amount of copious gas.

 

However, it doesn’t seem to weed out the comments about my body, what its doing, and what’s growing inside me.

 

It’s not that I don’t want advice; I do! I want to hear stories from my mom, my sister, my BFF and other people I love and trust. That’s what you do, right? Right.

 

What I don’t want is random people telling me I should or should not do something. I’m the type of person that, if you tell me to do (or not to do) something, I’ll do the complete opposite. I think I get that from my dad. (*Virtual high five, Dad!*)

 

For example, these are all things I have heard over the past few weeks:

 

“Don’t workout while you’re pregnant. You could harm the baby.”

(Really? Because my primary care doctor AND OBGYN told me that the best thing I could do was continue my workout routine. But you should know better, lady at Wal-Mart. And by the way, you’re slicing my deli meat too thin.)

 

“You don’t need to be walking up and down stairs.”

(Right, because my name is Harry Potter and I can Apparate to my upstairs apartment.)

 

“Cooking stuff in the microwave will transfer radiation to the baby.”

(If my son comes out like The Incredible Hulk, I’ll be pleased. That means the Avengers can summon him and my nephew can finally meet Captain America!)

 

“Don’t paint your nails, color your hair, use shaving cream, use lotion with sunless tanner or mascara.”

(Ooooh, I see. Now that I’m pregnant I’m just supposed to throw away my femininity because you saw something on the internet that said not to use any beauty products1. And we should always believe everything we read on the internet2!)

 

“You’re planning a trip? Really?”

(I know, how selfish of me! I should just stay home for the next 7 months and do nothing! It’s not like I’m not about to gain a new level of responsibility and lose the capability of Huff the Hubs and I dropping everything to venture to Europe. Because couples with newborns can do that kind of stuff 3!)

 

Sigh.

 

I’m not trying to be ungrateful to the people that have given me advice (Stacy, thanks for the almond oil idea—it’s totally helping with stretch marks! Sam, I’m glad you told me about the Bella Band, totes gonna hit up Target!)  I just don’t like it when people think they know better than me or my OB.

 

I know how my body works and even though I’ve never been through this before, I know how to listen to my body. I know that working out not only makes me feel stronger, it gives me endorphins which help with these crazy hormones and also makes me have more energy, which I’m going to need.

 

So if you see a pregnant chica, for my sake, don’t bombard her with the “knowledge” you gained from reading an obscure website about how drinking through a straw will rob your child of oxygen. Smile at her. Tell her congratulations. Wish her the best and tell her that what she’s doing is amazing and that she’s a rockstar. And maybe buy her an order of cheese tots4.

 

 

 

 

1. My OB said nail polish and hair coloring are fine as long as you’re in a well-ventilated area—so don’t use the salon that’s the back of a woman’s trailer. And as for the other stuff, she merely smiled at me like I do when my niece is trying to put her pants on backward and said, “That’s fine.”

 2. You should always believe everything you read on this blog. I’m very wise.

 3. SARCASM.

 4. But don’t let her eat too many. Take it from me. I’ve had tater tots with cheese from Sonic about seven times in the past week. No judgment, this is supposed to be a safe place. 

10 thoughts on “#PreggoProbs

  1. (I’ve been a lurker for a while, but I’m finally coming out of my cave and commenting because I’m TOTALLY feeling you.) UHG. Yes. My favorite has been people weighing in on my size.
    “How far along are you?”
    “X weeks.”
    *Shocked face* “Wow. You’re not very big/you look so much bigger!”

    Uh, excuse me, but how is that helpful? Or even polite?! I’ve started saying, as politely as I can, “Regardless of how I appear, I’ve measured right on track and my midwife* assures me I’m perfectly healthy.” Not that even all that is a stranger’s business, but I tell myself I’m educating them and saving a future recipient of their wisdom from being assaulted.

    *Midwife. Yes. It is 2013 and I see a midwife. This is another thing that causes much distress among strangers. Sometimes I explain that I’m still going to deliver in a hospital rather than an outhouse, and sometimes I just let them assume whatever they want.

    I am sure that everything you’re doing is absolutely fine, particularly working out. You’re already being a good mom by doing what’s best for you and your baby. (Oh, and those Target-version Bella Bands—adore. I used mine every day for months.)

    • Yay! I don’t mind you lurking! 🙂
      Ugh, right?! I try to just smile and walk away before round-house kicking them in the face.
      I’m totally going to get one of those Bella Bands! I don’t want to drop a bunch of money on clothes that I can be saving for our trip to Europe 🙂

    • TOTALLY. People kept telling me that I didn’t look as far along as I was, and it really hurt my feelings, because the reason I didn’t show as much was because it was physically impossible for my uterus to stretch like it should. When people commented on it, it made me worry about my baby and feel like I couldn’t take care of her before she was even born. I think this is something that people don’t consider when they make comments about your size.

      I really resent the way people treat pregnant women like objects rather than people. Like it isn’t already insulting enough that you have to rent out space in your body for the baby.

  2. I hate to break it to ya but the comments don’t go away any time soon. They’ll continue welll after Baby Huff is here. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I was getting pedicures every two weeks, eating tuna fish sandwiches, and *gasp* drinking cokes every day.

  3. I think that exercising also improves circulation! I found that helpful towards the end of the pregnancy. I didnt exercise with Katelyn (due to some other issues) and I was so much more swollen, I did with Megan and was a lot better off. I agree with you, you know your body better than anyone and if you know how to listen to it, who cares what people think!! I’m also very excited for you!!!! 🙂

    • Oh yeah, I agree! I know I’ll swell up, but if I can help it from getting too bad (I hear eclampsia is due to poor circulation) I’m going to! And thanks! I’m pretty excited too! 🙂

  4. When I was pregnant I drank soda and decaf coffee. I painted my nails. I microwaved my food (although I didn’t stand in front of the microwave while it cooked, just in case). I participated in all my normal activities until they put me on bed rest. I did yoga. I slept on my stomach until it was uncomfortable. I drank a chocolate shake every night for two months.

    Next time someone gives you unwanted advice, say, “I don’t come down here and tell you how to slice deli meat, so don’t tell my OBGYN how to monitor a pregnancy.” If your doctor says it’s okay, then it’s okay. In my experience, they tend to err on the side of caution.

    I think (yes, here is my unwanted advice 🙂 ) that the worst thing a pregnant woman can do for herself and the baby is do something (or not do something) that makes her uncomfortable or insecure. Nature says you are mature enough to be responsible for another human life. You can probably decide on your own what to do and what not to do.

  5. Pingback: Unsolicited Advice/Make-Shift Try it Tuesday | The Huffman Post

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