Adventures in Pregnancy: The Dreaded Glucose Test

Ever since I got pregnant, women have been telling me things to “get ready for”. I knew some of them, but others were a little mind-boggling:

 

“You’ll never have dry underwear when you pee EVER AGAIN.” 

 

“Your stomach will NEVER shrink back to its original size.” 

 

“The days of getting 5 hours of sleep in row are long gone.” 

 

Each complaint varied from woman to woman, however the constant gripe was: “The glucose test is AWFUL.”

From the way many of my friends (and random women at Walmart) talked, the glucose test went something like this:

1. You can’t eat anything past noon the day before.

2. You can’t get to the doctor’s office until 9:00 a.m.

3. The nurse will give you a gallon size jug of the most disgusting beverage ever (think Drano with an orange aftertaste).

4. You have one hour to drink the Drano and the nurse watches you like a hawk shouting “Chug, chug, chug” like a frat-boy.

5. After you drink the entire thing you have to wait three hours. Then they take a bag of blood from your arm.

 

However, MY glucose test went like this:

1. Wake up at 5:30 so I could eat breakfast. (I only had to fast one hour beforehand.)

2. Get to DLO at 7:00 so I could drink the stuff.

3. Drink a very tiny bottle of a beverage that tasted like Orange Gatorade mixed with flat Orange Crush (it actually wasn’t difficult. It was kinda good, actually.):

"Who loves orange soda? I do, I do, I dooo-ooo!"

“Who loves orange soda? I do, I do, I dooo-ooo!”

4. Wait for an hour.

5. Go to the back and have the phlebotomist take two tiny vials of blood. (She was super gentle; I didn’t even feel the needle!)

6. Go about my merry way.

 

I seriously amped myself up for this awful, horrible, totally disgusting and emotionally exhausting event. But it wasn’t like that at all. I really don’t know why the glucose test gets such a bad rep….especially since labor and delivery seems like such a hum-dinger in comparison!

For all you expectant mommies who haven’t done the glucose test, try not to fret. I know everyone’s experiences are going to be different, but just know that there is one woman out there that didn’t sit in a corner in the fetal position crying because of the glucose test.

9 thoughts on “Adventures in Pregnancy: The Dreaded Glucose Test

  1. I did my glucose test too and my experience was a lot like yours. The drink wasn’t something I would go out and buy but it wasn’t bad, I didn’t have to fast and I only had the 1 hr test. Where I am from, you only do the 3hr test if you fail the 1hr.

    • I agree! I mean, it wasn’t awful, but I wouldn’t drink it every day just for the heck of it, LOL. I’m hoping I don’t fail this one; I really don’t want to do the 3-hour one :/

  2. I wouldn’t say it was an enjoyable experience for me any of the times, but it certainly hasn’t been terrible. 😉 Glad you had a good needle-poking nurse! That makes all the difference. Hope your results are good.

  3. My glucose test went like yours. I didn’t even mind the drink (I like flat, warm soda so there you go). I brought some knitting with me so the hour passed quickly. The most memorable thing about my test was a tech in the back who was singing Christina Aguilera’s genie in a bottle song at the top if her lungs! Here’s hoping your results are good!

  4. I didn’t think it was that bad. I failed the first test and had to go back for the second test. This happened with both boys!!! The waiting around to get blood drawn 3 times was the worst part. Good luck I hope you pass the first test!!!

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