Its Time to Retire…

Gare-Bear

Gare-Bear

Tonight will be the last broadcast for local TV legend, Gary England. For forty years, Gary has been the face of severe weather for many Oklahoma’s (not so much for me; I’m a Channel 4 girl myself). I honestly can’t believe the man is retiring! I seriously thought he’d outlive us all and be forecasting for my great-grandchildren from his Doppler station on the moon. Seeing Gary leave Channel 9 got me thinking: who else should retire (but probably won’t) in 2013?

 

Willard Scott

Yes, I know he was the original Ronald McDonald. And yes, I know he’s a treasure on The Today Show. But… I think its time for Uncle Willie to hang up the red wig and take some time for himself. I usually keep The Today Show on for the full four hours. I don’t have cable and its nice to have some background noise. But when Willard does his salute to centenarians (which is sweet, I’ll give you that) it just makes me…sad. The poor guy tends to ramble and doesn’t really make a lot of sense. He reminds me a lot of an older gentleman that went to my church that would stand up at the pulpit to make announcements and then walk off the stage mid-way through, still talking to himself, leaving the congregation scratching their heads. Come on, Willie. I hear Barbados is nice this time of year. Take the missus. 

 

Jack of “Jack and Ron”

I’m sure I’ll get some flack for this one too, but I don’t care. Whenever I drive into work on Monday morning, usually listen to The Bob and Tom Show. But, I like to flip over to Jack and Ron because they have a reporter from Hollywood call in and give them the dish (yeah, I want celebrity news, bite me).  So, there are rare occasions when I have to sit through Jack and Ron talking. Or as I like to refer to it: Ron’s smooth-as-buttah voice and Jack’s annoying impressions of old ladies and the sound of his false teeth chattering. 

 

Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, and Amanda Bynes

Technically speaking, I think Amanda has kind of retired. At least, she’s not working because she’s in court-mandated psychotherapy watch. But still. All three of these girls have been making headlines lately. I think they should all take a step back, put some clothes on, stop twerking, and chillax. Or maybe they could all rent a cabin in Colorado and just talk about stuff. And then, when they’re better, they can open up a clinic for former child stars that have lost their ever-lovin’ minds and need help. I bet Corey Feldman would be willing to get in on that too.

 

Whoever Writes The Scripts For the Fast and Furious Franchise

Seriously. Just stop. Six is enough. We don’t need anymore.

 

Who do you think should retire? And no, you can’t say me. Well, you can. But I’d block you on Facebook. And Pinterest. Good luck trying to find a use for all those pine cones in your backyard.

 

 

 

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