A Truly “Crappy” Day

Today has been one mother of a day.


Shortly after Huff the Hubs left for work, me and Huff the Babe were at home, watching TV. I was cleaning up the breakfast mess and had just finished reading Hermione a book. I smelled that old familiar smell letting me know that little tushy sitting in my lap was in desperate need of changing. I changed the poopy diaper and tossed the soiled diaper liner (we use cloth diapers) into the toilet and flushed. I put Hermione back in the play pen and went back to the bathroom and gasped.


The toilet was overflowing. Poo was going everywhere!


I cursed under my breath and called Huff the Hubs.


Hermione was screaming her head off, wanting her Mommy, so I cleaned as much as I could, put my pajama pants back on (I took them off so they wouldn’t get contaminated with poo-water) and picked up the baby. I gave her my phone to calm her down when I heard knocking—or what I thought was knocking—coming from the front door.


Ugh. If you’re selling something, I am NOT buying, I thought as I looked out the peephole. It was not a Girl Scout. It was a man. A man in a white t-shirt, dark jeans, and he was taking the screen paneling off of the kitchen window. I also saw a newer model black Dodge Charger out in the street next to the mailbox.


I panicked. I grabbed the phone from Hermione and dialed 911.


“911 what’s your emergency?” the dispatcher asked.


“Someone’s breaking into my house!” I yelled frantically and said my address quickly. I peered out of the peephole and saw the burglar go off the porch and turn…to the side of the house that my sister’s bedroom window is on. I stepped quickly into the hall and saw the man’s face through the blinds. Still clutching the phone to my ear and holding onto Hermione for dear life, I called the dog to my side and we rushed to the garage.


When I got to the garage, I heard glass shatter. He was in the house.


I closed the door from the laundry room to the garage as quietly as I could. I didn’t want the guy to hear me; I didn’t know if he was armed. Thankfully, Hermione and Pinny Lane were quiet.


I told the dispatcher, “He’s in the house! He’s in the house!”


“Where are you?”


“I’m in the garage! Please, please send a cop!”


“They’re on their way. Can you arm yourself?”


“We don’t have any guns!” I cried, lamenting that I hadn’t taken a concealed carry class. I saw a hammer nearby and grabbed it.


I heard noises. I wasn’t sure if it was coming from the kitchen or living room.


“I hear him,” I said. “I think I’m going to make a run for it.”


I knew his getaway team was outside. I didn’t know if they had guns, but I knew I was not going to stay in the house and risk letting something happen to my baby.


“If you feel safer to run, then run,” the dispatcher said.


I hit the garage door opener, didn’t wait for it to open all the way, and bolted. I clung Hermione as close to me as I could, still holding the hammer in my hand. I called after the dog to follow me to the neighbor’s house.


I looked back and saw the driver of the black Charger. I looked him right in the eye. I saw a young girl in the backseat toss her hair. They seemed calm; like they were just waiting to pick up a friend to go to the movies.


As soon as I made it to the neighbor’s, a police car pulled up and the Charger drove off. I pointed to my house and called to the officer: “That’s my house! That’s my house!”


He drew his gun and went inside. (I later noticed that the front door had not been kicked in. The burglar had unlocked the front door so he could carry all the things he had piled up by the door to the getaway car.) As I stood in the neighbor’s lawn, I saw another police car pull up, then do a fast U-turn, and speed off the other way.


The first officer came out of the house and said the burglar had gotten away and other officers were in pursuit.


“How can I help?” he asked.


“Can you grab my dog, please?” I asked, crying.


He picked up Pinny and put her back inside. The officer advised that I go to a neighbor’s house because he was going to go look for the getaway car. I went to our neighbor that’s a SAHM who home-schools her sons. I was still talking to the dispatcher in between sobs.


When I got to the neighbor’s door, the dispatcher asked to speak with her, they talked, and then they hung up. Hermione and I stayed there until the cops came back. In the meantime, I called my mom (who works at the same place as my sister) to let her know what happened. Then, I called Huff the Hubs. They all sped home.


As I stood in my neighbor’s living room, watching Hermione toddle around, I started thinking about the 911 call.


Oh, crap. I thought. I really hope they don’t play this on the news. I’m pretty sure I said something about Pinny pooping and not coming when I called her. I’m going to sound like such an idiot!


Soon, there were 7 squad cars in the street, officers everywhere, and a news helicopter overhead. After about 30 minutes, my family was there and I was starting to calm down. Soon after that, an officer came up to me and said they caught they guy. He asked if I could ID the burglar.


“Is he here?” I asked, seething.


“He’s in the back of the car over there,” the officer said, pointing to his vehicle.


“Can I yell at him?” I asked, as we walked.


“Of course!”


We got to the squad car and the guy was leaning with his back to the door. The officer pulled open the door and said, “Sit up!” to the burglar.


“Yeah, that’s him!” I said. “How dare you, you *&^%$#?!” I yelled. “I was home with my baby and you just bust in?! Get your #$@%^&* head out of your %$^#&*( @##! Do something with your *&^%$#@ life!”


The man started to say something, to which the officer said, “Shut up!” and slammed the door.


My mom scolded me as I walked back onto the lawn. “Jessica Lynn!” she said. “You just dropped the F-bomb like five times!”


“He deserved it!” I said, throwing my hands in the air.


“He did!” the officer who escorted me to the car said. “He deserves a lot more!”


“They’re just lucky they didn’t let me in the back!” I exclaimed.


“It’s my car, I’ll let you back there,” the officer replied.


“Shh! Don’t tell her that,” my dad warned, smiling.


As of now, the people in the getaway car are still out there. The detectives came by earlier and let me look at some pictures. I’m fairly certain that I positively ID’d the driver. There weren’t any pictures of the potential female passenger, though.


I’m still a little shook up, and my adrenaline is still coursing through me, but I feel better that they caught the guy. He didn’t get away with anything (except my sense of security) and the damage was limited to a broken window.


I am so, so thankful for the officers and detectives that were here. They were all so helpful and very kind. I know cops can sometimes get a bad rap, but they were EXCELLENT. The detective–when I told her the whole story (poo included)–said, “Well you’ve really had a ‘crappy’ day, huh?” We’re now best friends.


They gave me some solid advice, too:

  1. Get a gun.
  2. Do NOT leave your garage door opener in your car on your visor. Thieves have been known to break into cars, grab your insurance verification (or something with your address on it), take your garage door opener and come clean you out in the middle of the night.
  3. Get a “key-fab” garage door opener and keep it on your key ring. (see #2)
  4. Get a home security system (thinking also about getting one from hiddencamerasforhome.org). Thieves stay away from houses with stickers or signs in the yard that say “Protected by ADT”.


You’d better believe I will be doing ALL of these things TONIGHT.



11 thoughts on “A Truly “Crappy” Day

  1. Hahahahaha OMG my favorite part is that you asked to tell at him. He SO deserved that. What a scumbag! I’ve been thinking about a gun, and this makes me think more seriously about it. And the garage door opener!! I never thought of that, but…man. It would be so easy for someone to do that to me. Bahhhh.

    I hope you can sleep tonight! I think you handled the situation superbly. I don’t know if I would have thought to escape through the garage. And since I know you’re not an idiot, I want to hear that 911 recording. 😉

    • I told the officers later: “I grew up on the southside, and you can’t take the southside outta me!” 🙂
      A part of me wants to hear it too, just so I can hear what I sound like, lol.

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  3. Let me say first I’m very pleased that you your baby and dog are all safe it was a crappy day for me as well as I came face-to-face with the suspect as he jumped over my fence right in front of me I called 911 as he ran across the street and jumped another fence then came back over that same fence with a change of clothes on I followed him with my car as he ran down south western and into a daycare center I was on 911 the whole time relaying information to them as then he started to run across the street to the apartments the police were on foot by that time he ended up across the creek into another neighborhood where he stole a bike and attempted to get away ended up in someone else’s backyard where he was apprehended this guy got an up close and personal look at me three times during that morning I do have ADT

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  5. I’m curious did your dog bark? Anytime someone knocks my dogs go nuts. I assume that has scared off any potential burglars but how very scary. Glad you had a positive outcome.

    • Usually she barks like CRAZY if someone so much as sneezes in her general vicinity. But that day? She was SILENT. It was like she knew that something was wrong and she needed to be quiet.

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