Hey ladies. This weekend while doing laundry I had a revelation and now its turning into a revolution. I just need a small army of XX chromosomes to back me up. I know we are usually divided on so many subjects: politics, religion, which Bachelor contestant should get a rose…but today, we must all unite against our common enemy: the built-in camisole bra.
Seriously, who are these “bras” helping?! They’re basically like an Oklahoma congressman toward teachers: completely unsupportive. They either let The Girls hang so low you’ve pretty much got a plumber’s crack on your chest OR they smoosh everything together so that you’ve got the dreaded uni-boob.
These deceptive articles of clothing may say that they come equipped with straps for “easy adjusting” but DO NOT BE FOOLED! They will do nothing but fill you with false hope and just end up letting you down, if you catch my drift. Yes, I know; the thought of wearing a shirt without that pesky bra strap sneaking out sounds tempting, but do not trust the enemy!
And while we’re talking about failures in fashion, what’s with the built-in bra’s cousin “built-in underwear”? I have a few pairs of running shorts with underwear already in them. WHO IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR WHILE RUNNING?! Why would the creators of these shorts think I need TWO sets of underwear? After working out in the Oklahoma heat, its difficult enough to peel my shorts off of my sweaty, stuck-together thighs and they want to add another hurdle?! Just stop. Stop with the “built-in” crap. Let me have my spaghetti straps without the extra hindrance and give me shorts that won’t make me feel like I’m putting on Spanx to hit the treadmill.
Unite with me, ladies!