Mommy Monday

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Motherhood is hard. Its really, really hard.

Imagine having a job in which your boss NEVER leaves your side. He’s always a half step behind you, asking you what you’re doing or what you’re going to do next or if you have any updates on that project you’ve been working on even though you literally told him 10.8 seconds ago that there had been no change.

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Imagine your boss follows you into the bathroom, then touches the toilet, and puts her hands on your face. Then, she requests you cook her lunch. But not the beautifully prepared Pinterest meal you spent time and effort on, she wants a sandwich. Without crust. And with jelly. But not strawberry jelly. Then, when you hand it to her she’ll flip the table over because you cut the sandwich into triangles not squares and the shape of the sandwich is directly correlated to its taste. Basically, triangles are crap and now your sandwich is crap.

Then, your other supervisor makes a gigantic mess in the breakroom. Guess who gets to clean it up? Oh, and you still haven’t had time to sit down at your computer to check emails or make a list of all the things you need to accomplish today because your bosses have keep you busy from the moment you walked in the door. By the time you have a second to breathe and get stuff done, its time to leave.

 

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That’s what motherhood is like.

Now listen, I’m not complaining. (Well, maybe I am a little.) I love my kids. I’m so glad and blessed that I have them and I honestly wouldn’t want my life any other way (though I think I could do with a little less feces and spit up throughout my day). This illustration was just to get you to think. Think about what the moms in your life are going through–especially moms of littles. They’re dealing with tiny dictators that don’t care whether you’re tired or hungry or stressed or PMSing or worried about how you’re going to pay the mortgage. They only think about themselves. And the moms? They’re thinking about them too. Moms carry so much on their shoulders (I know dads do too, but Mother’s Day is this weekend, so back off). They have to keep a record of who ate what, when they ate it, when they last went potty, when they’ll need to go again, whether or not there are diapers/wipes/snacks/sippy cups/change of clothes/a favorite lovey/blanket in the diaper bag and oh, they also need to remember to feed themselves, keep themselves hydrated, and somehow fit all the needs of keeping a household running into their already jam-packed schedule.

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All I’m saying is, if you’re lucky enough to still have your mom around, thank her. Thank her for all she has done. And if you see a mom that’s about to lose her ever-loving mind in the middle of Target, go buy her a cake pop or a unicorn frapp from the Starbucks at the front of the store and tell her she’s doing a good job. I guarantee you it will make her feel like a million bucks.

 

 

Fan Girl Friday!

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Hallelujah, it’s Friday! And payday! And Cinco de Mayo (hooray for half-priced tacos)! And not only that, but its only 9 days until Mother’s Day! What? You haven’t gone shopping yet?! Not to worry, I’ve got a gaggle of geeky goodies for the great gal in your life!

 

There are many times I have to correct people who say I’m bossy with, “Its not ‘bossy’; its leadership skills.” Got a momma like that? Grab a pair of these mitts from Perpetual Kid!

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There’s also one for your more intimidating madre as well as the bookworm babe!

 

Got a whimsical woman who always likes to look her best? Look no further than this unicorn nail polish dryer!

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Nails fly and dry in 5 minutes flat! No risk of messing up her mani while she chugs a uni-frap!

 

If you’re a mom of littles, you’re constantly carrying around a ton of crap. Seriously. Between snacks, diapers, wipes, and crayons, I need an enormous bag to carry it all in! Thank goodness ThinkGeek has my nerdy back with this!

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This canvas “Motherboard” bag is perfect for carrying all of your spawn’s stuff as well as looking geek chic!

 

Is your mom ready to soak up the sun while also representing Star Fleet? Pick her up one of these!

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These a-DORK-able swimsuits are available in blue, red, and gold! Throw one on, head to the beach, and become your own sanding party–hey-oh!

 

 

Happy Fangirling!

 

 

Try It Tuesday

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Hey y’all! My cousin is getting married in less than 6 weeks and I’ve been trying my hardest to tone up and lose some poundage. I’ve actually lost three pounds in three weeks–score!–and lost half an inch on my waist and hips! *Happy dance* Let me tell ya, it has NOT been easy. But, totes worth it so I can look fab in my bridesmaid’s dress!

Anywhoo, I’ve been trying to curb my enormous sweet tooth (thanks for nothing, Easter candy) by substituting old faves with healthier options. I tried Halo Top’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and it was AH-MAY-ZING! So when I saw this brand, I got very excited!

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Only 150 calories for the ENTIRE pint?! YES, PLEASE!
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The package said to let it set out for about 10 minutes so the frozen treat could be at its creamiest. I let it set and then dug in:

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It was…interesting. 

 

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Maybe I got the wrong flavor. Maybe I should have let it set out longer than ten minutes. Maybe I should have saved my money and just eaten my kid’s fruit snacks. Either way, I wasn’t that impressed.

Have you ever tried this before? What did you think? Share in the comments below!

Mommy Monday

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Sometimes, as a mom, you have to just embrace the crazy around you and laugh at the ridiculousness that will inevitably happen. At least, that’s what I try to do when my kids have ground Cheerios into a freshly vacuumed floor or unwound an entire roll of toilet paper. Which is why I am loving my latest Amazon find!

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This hilariously true-to-life coloring book, #MomLife: A Snarky Adult Coloring Book, is full of pages that describe what every mom deals with. There are pages for those (literal)”Oh crap!” moments:

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And for those “Is-Your-Father-Home-Yet-So-I-Can-Have-A-Glass-Of-Wine?!” moments:

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Other pages are included and are hilariously titled:

  • Congratulations on Your New Vajayjay
  • I Look So Peaceful when my Kids are Sleeping
  • Potty Like a Rock Star
  • I Breed Nonsleepers
  • No Talkie Before Coffee
  • I Love you to the Moon and Back
  • Mommy’s Juicebox
  • Wine Rhymes with Friday
  • Blowout
  • Not My Circus Not My Monkeys
  • Serenity Now

 

See? Perfect for us! Now we just need the time to actually sit down and color!

 

Try It Tuesday

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This past Saturday was Earth Day! Did you do anything special? If 90’s cartoons taught me anything, its that we only get one planet; we need to take care of it (and not just on Earth Day)! So today’s Try It is all about upcycling, reusing, and reducing waste!

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I did two different projects this week re-using what some may deem as “trash” but I saw its potential to be something better!

For my first project, I took the empty M&M minis tube Huff the Tot had just devoured and cleaned it out:

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Then, I wrapped it in some a-DORK-able Duct Tape:

Voila! I was done! Seriously, that’s it. Now I have an awesome pocket container to take places when I don’t feel like carrying a purse. This would be great for trips to the beach/lake, festivals, concerts, or just a night out on the town (though, I have two kids so the chances of me getting to go to any of those places is pretty slim!). But still, look at all that this thing holds:

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Plus, there was still room! You could pop a chapstick tube in there and maybe even some compact feminine hygiene products!

For my next project, I used an old coffee container:

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I cleaned it out, took the label off, and cut an “X” on the lid:

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Then, I used a chalkboard sticker I bought the day after Christmas and bam! Instant bag dispenser!

You don’t have to put bags in yours! You can decorate/label it any way you want and store just about anything in there. The possibilities are endless!

 

Here are some more links for recycling crafts!

Make Your Own Bath Bombs with K Cups

Tin Can Crafts

Bag Weaving with Old Plastic Bags

Altoid Mint Tin Upcycle

 

 

Do you have any favorite eco-friendly crafts? Share in the comments below!

Mommy Monday

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I recently read an article titled, Your Bubblebath Is B*&^%$#@, and let me tell ya, I had some strong feelings about this. A part of me was very defensive–“Don’t tell me how to take care of myself and what I need to do to be happy!” and another part of me kind of got it–“Yeah, women today are fed a bunch of B.S. about what we truly need.” But the main thing I came away with was, “I need to take care of myself the way see fit.”

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My idea of self-care is working out, eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and getting regular breaks from the home/chores/and yes, even my kids and husband. Shocking, I know!

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Self-care is super important, ladies. We literally take care of (almost) everything and everyone around us. If we don’t take regular breaks, we will get burnt out, struggling (even more) just to cope. And for those that say, “Oh, I don’t need any time away from my kids, how can you say that?!” You’re lying.

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“No, I’m not!”

Yes, you most certainly are. How do I know? Think of it this way: if you ran a marathon everyday for a year, how do you think you’d do? That first marathon you’d do great! You’d probably finish strong and feel great about what you accomplished. The next day? You’d be sore, but you’d probably do okay. A little slower than the day before, probably taking more water stops and maybe even walking a few miles. By day five, you’d barely make it to mile 10 and they’d be carrying you off on a gurney.

“Yeah, but that’s a marathon! We’re talking about motherhood, here!”

I got news for ya, sister. Motherhood IS a marathon. Because like a marathon, motherhood is exhausting. It takes every single ounce of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. There are times you feel so strong, empowered, and ready to tackle the miles ahead. Then, there are moments when you just want to quit and lay down on the pavement.

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Those are the moments that you need to take a break. You’ve got to breathe. You’ve got to do something that reminds you that you are more than cook, more than a cleaner, more than a boo-boo kisser (which isn’t a bad gig), and more than a milk machine. Whatever it is, do it (as long as its legal, lol). Do what you have to do to get by. And if your idea is a Lush bath bomb and a bubble bath, then do it!

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What do you think? Did you read the linked article? What do you do for self-care? Share in the comments below!

 

 

Fan Girl Friday!

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Happy Friday, y’all! All week long my newsfeed has been EXPLODING with pics of the new unicorn frappuccino at Starbucks. Haven’t seen it? Oh, Imma show you:

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Looks magical, right? Not so magical? The nutrition facts:

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Yeah. So, if you still want your unicorn fix but without the sugar coma, I’ve got what you need!

 

Instead of the sugar-splosion, have some low fat ice cream and sprinkle on chocolate shaving with this!

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This adorable little sprinkle shaker is from Firebox and, BONUS, it’s less than $10! Woot!

 

Chillax this weekend in a nice, hot bubble bath filled with this amazing concoction from Etsy store Two Wild Hares:

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This bath bomb dust, Unicorn Kisses, is a magical blend of citruses, a trio of berries, juicy mango and grape! Ahhh, smells like whimsy and relaxation!

 

Looking to low-key (Hey oh! You’ll get that bad pun in a minute!) show your unicorn obsession? Grab this Kate Spade key ring!

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Need a more bold way to show your unicorn-love? Look no further than La Creme’s Color Drenched Lipstick in Unicorn Tears!

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This shimmering shade of lip color is made with white lotus flower extract and hydrates lips while also making you look FAB:

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Awesome, right?!

 

Happy fangirling!