Writer Wednesday

Its Writer Wednesday, peeps! Here’s today’s prompt:

writing prompt

 

It seems as though most break-ups happen before Spring Break and before Christmas. Why? Two reasons: alcohol and money.

 

Many people (especially those college-aged) break up before Spring Break (“WOOHOO!”) because they want to be free to pursue other people (and by “people” I mean drunk-idiot-Jersey Shore-rejects) while stumbling around Cabo with a Mikes Hard Lemonade in one hand and a Camel Light in the other.

 

Others end their relationship right before Christmas because they believe if they break-up before Christmas, they can use family obligations as an excuse, when they’re really just scared that they’ll go bankrupt searching for that Michael Kors purse that you “just have to have” or that you’ll break up with them because their gift-giving capabilities were on par with Joey’s ability to speak French.

 

Here’s my advice: stay home and set the bar low.

 

You don’t need to go out to have a good time. Stay home, save your money, and stop shaving. Show each other that you care by watching four hours of old Star Trek episodes and listening to books on tape. Don’t worry about giving that “awesome” gift. Buy practical gifts. Yeah, those Louboutins are cute, but where are you going to wear them? You’re not J.Lo. No one is going to photograph you stepping out of your 2001 Ford Taurus at Target wearing those things. You’re not going to find true love in the foam pit at Señor Frogs. But, you might just find it falling asleep with Cheeto dust on their face during a DVR’d episode of The Voice.

Throw Your Caps

The paper robes are getting picked up, the class rings are being shined, and parents everywhere are cringing at the cost of college. Yes, it’s that time again. Graduation season is upon us.

 

Seems like only yesterday I was prepping for my graduation. This year, I will be going to (and currently planning) my 10-year reunion. It seems impossible that I have been out of high school for that long! Especially since the four years I spent there felt like a decade.

 

Looking back, there are a few things I wish I could tell my 18-year-old self:

 

“Stop eating Doritos and Dr. Pepper for lunch. You’re really going to piss off 20-year-old you.”

 

“In three years, you’ll be able to do a lot more with your cell phone than just play Snake.”

 

The original form of procrastination before Facebook came to be.

The original form of procrastination before Facebook came to be.

“Don’t worry if you didn’t understand The Matrix Reloaded. Nobody did.”

 

“Its okay if you don’t know any lyrics to a Nelly song. He doesn’t stick around too long.”

 

I'ma be at a casino near you, dawg.

I’ma be at a casino near you, dawg.

“Be nicer to your parents. They’re going to get you out of some sticky situations.”

 

“Also, don’t waste your money on a PDA. It’ll be compared to Zac Morris’s cell phone in a few years.”

 

Oh Apple, you're going to have fun with this one.

Oh Apple, you’re going to have fun with this one.

“Keep your best friends close and your enemies at a far enough distance to where they can’t see who threw that rock.”

 

“Stop complaining about gas being $1.59. You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

 

Well, guess its time to sell that kidney.

Well, guess its time to sell that kidney.

“Break up with the guy you’re with and don’t date until 2010. Trust me; the guy you meet then is TOTES worth the wait.”

 

“Don’t EVER eat a Crunchwrap® from Taco Bell. It will be your undoing.”

 

The reason I gained 40lbs in less than 3 months. You ground beef devil, you.

The reason I gained 40lbs in less than 3 months. You ground beef devil, you.

“Try harder in college and don’t skip class just so you can watch Maury.” 

 

“If you’re tempted to buy a velour track suit, just say no.”

 

Created for exercise, worn for sitting on the couch.

Created for exercise, worn for sitting on the couch.

 

And if I could give some advice for the soon-to-be graduates it would be this: Don’t take yourself too seriously. Save money. Don’t sleep during class. Sit on the front row. Try not to take out more student loans than you need. Find out what your passion is and make THAT your major. Ask for help. Don’t be a tool.