Mommy Monday

Mommy Monday Header Beach

 

I was wasting time on Facebook the other day and saw this meme which made me laugh because I could totally relate:

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But then I started thinking: I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want to constantly be saying “Yes” to everything and wearing myself out. Over the past few years–probably since around the time that Huff the Babe was born–I’ve been trying to not take on so much stuff and I’ve been working on saying “no” more often. Thought, I sometimes still  overwhelm myself, but I feel like I’ve gotten better at declining than I used to be. I’ve noticed this typically seems to happen to women–we actually become addicted to being busy/taking on enormous amounts of responsibility. (I’m not talking about stuff that needs to be done, e.g. laundry, dishes, caring for our young. I’m talking about the extras.)

 

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The subject of busyness is actually being studied as an addiction. Yep, you read that right. Just like drugs, alcohol, or food, people more and more are using busy schedules to numb themselves/distract from problems they are unable to face.

If I keep myself busy enough, I won’t have time to be anxious.

My schedule is jam-packed; now I don’t have to think about how my marriage is falling apart. 

Go here, go there, and do this. No time to think about my feelings of unworthiness. 

But keeping ourselves busy and not getting down to the root of why we’re keeping ourselves busy is just perpetuating the problem. We are making ourselves sick with the constant hustle and bustle of getting to places we “need” to be… but did you ever stop to think about where you want to be? Do you want to be driving to and from extracurricular activities every single evening? And I’m not knocking extracurriculars; I think they’re a great way for kids to learn perseverance, teamwork, and cooperation. But if you’re spending 99.99% of your time in the car, scarfing down your dinner in between pick-ups and drop-offs, with no time to invest in the relationships around you, maybe take a beat and take stock.

Are you constantly feeling overwhelmed? 

Do you see your kids less and less because of the continuous full calendar?

Are you not sleeping well?

If this is you (I’ve been there)  try to start saying “no”. I know,: its easier said than done. But, sometimes, the best thing a mom can do for her family, her marriage, and her own sanity is to say “no”.

You don’t have to head up every single fundraiser.

You don’t have to sew costumes every Halloween.

You don’t have to be at the church every time the doors are open.

You don’t have to bake cookies for the team’s snack.

You don’t have to have hand-stitched napkins at Christmas dinner.

You don’t have to do it all.

One more time for the ladies in the back: You don’t have to do it all

Again, I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, per se. What I’m saying is, if you are constantly running and never feel like you’re getting ahead; if you cart the kids to and from all weekend and lay in bed on Sunday night, thinking about how you barely saw your children; if you feel like you and your husband are “two ships passing in the night”, think about areas in your life that you can say “no”. By taking on a lot, we’re also missing out on a lot.

To quote author Mary Katherine, contributor on Scary Mommy: “…most of us can probably let go of a few things go without the world falling down around us. We will be doing ourselves, and our families, a huge favor too. Because important things are happening in quiet moments, mamas. And you deserve to experience them.”

Yes.

Yes, you do.

Mommy Monday

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Y’all, this whole “being-pregnant-while-chasing-a-toddler-and-moving-into-a-new-house-while-your-husband-starts-grad-school” thing is reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyyy exhausting.

Seriously.

mommy monday tired jim

Don’t get me wrong, I totally see how my body is doing something incredibly amazing right now, growing a human and all. (I also read one of the reasons I’m so tired is because I’m also growing the placenta. And the placenta doesn’t really take over until the second trimester. Gah, placenta, do your freaking job! Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?!)

But dang, guys. I’m so freaking tired. I’ve been trying to keep up my workout schedule, thinking that it would give me more energy. Boy was I wrong.

I’ve been limiting myself to one Diet Dr. Pepper a day (okay, so its a Big Gulp. Bite me.) but it really isn’t helping.

Mommy Monday Caffeine Patch

So, I’m sending up the Batsignal.

This is one of those rare moments when I’m actually asking for advice.

mommy monday help a brotha

 

How did you keep your energy up/get shiz done while you were preggars (whether or not you were chasing a toddler–or many)? I know its only been two years and some change since I had Huff the Tot, but I can’t remember how I was able to get things accomplished while feeling like someone slipped me a mickey.

While you think about it, I’m going to go take a nap.

Mommy Monday

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When I was pregnant with Huff the Babe (I’m probably going to have to start calling her something else when this Little Peanut comes, huh?) I know I had morning sickness. But now, looking back, I can’t really remember it. Maybe it’s because I blocked it out. Or maybe I just can’t remember because the space in my memory that once held onto morning sickness memories has now been overtaken by theme songs to various children’s programming (thanks a lot, Tayo.) Either way, I don’t remember being this miserable.

 

Mommy Monday Morning Sickness Choke on Vomit

Granted, the morning sickness didn’t kick in full swing until 2 ½ weeks ago. And, at first, it was very light nausea. I’d eat something and it’d go away. Then I got the stomach bug and prayed for the Rapture.

 

All I want to do is complain 24/7 about how awful I feel, but I feel like I can’t. Some reasons are for others (i.e., no one wants to be around a Whiny Wally all the time and I know many women who would love to have morning sickness but can’t because of a variety of reasons). Some reasons, however, are because I don’t want to hear what other people have to say in response.

Mommy Monday Morning Sickness Irritated

Yes, I know that my morning sickness means the baby is doing well and is healthy and I totally get that. I want my Little Bean to be healthy. But I also want to feel like a human so I can get stuff done. It’s so difficult to work when you’d rather be sleeping and doing chores while feeling like you may vom is pretty much the modern woman’s torture.

Mommy Monday Morning Sickness

Every smell, odor, and scent is like a gut-punch. Even the stuff that once smelled good (lasagna, chocolate cake, coffee) makes you feel like you just rode The Texas Giant 12 times in a row without stopping.

*Raises glass of Sprite*

So here’s to the momma’s, both old and new, that have suffered with the debilitating morning sickness. Here’s to the women that breathe through their mouths as they walk through the breakroom at work so as not to smell their coworker’s stinky food. Here’s to the women that, rather than go on their lunch break, take a nap in their car and pay a cleaning service (or a family member) to scrub the bathroom. Here’s to the women that are so overcome with nausea and exhaustion during that first trimester that you turn on Doc McStuffins for your toddler so you can sleep on the couch. You are my tribe and I salute you.

*Takes a sip of Sprite and immediately feels nauseous*