Dirty Thirty Wrap-Up

So, as you know, I turned the big 3-0 last week! And, to lament celebrate the fact that I am now “over the hill”, I decided to do a 30 By 30 List. Last Thursday, I told you which items I had crossed off (in JUST the nick of time!) and which ones I had left. Now, to wrap this fun little venture up into a nice little bow, I’m going to do a review/critique of my year(s) in accomplishing my goals!

 

Most Favorite Goal:

Sew and wear a dress/skirt

sew

This goal was tough. I’m no seamstress, and I was afraid of what I might make. But I actually really enjoyed learning about sewing! Plus, I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with my mom which I don’t get much anymore.

 

Least Favorite Goal:

Watch all of AFI’s 100 Years, 100 Movies.

afi

OMG. This was such a cumbersome goal. While watching some of the films on this list I thought: “Why in the world is this on here?! Its AWFUL!” Some of the movies were just downright painful to watch (Sophie’s Choice, A Clockwork Orange, Apocalypse Now) and others left me scratching my head thinking, “What just happened?”

 

Most Time-Consuming Goal:

Run a marathon.

marathon

If you want to spend your weekends waking up at the crack of dawn, running in freezing temps, and putting your body through all kinds of pain then, by all means, train for and run a marathon. I ran three times during the week and every single Saturday morning for almost five months. There were days I’d wake up before Huff the Hubs and Huff the Babe and not see them until lunchtime! It was tough!

 

Something I Will Never Attempt Again (Maybe):

Tie: Run a Marathon and Undertake a Big List (like AFI’s)

regret-nothing

Why will I not run a marathon again? Perhaps you haven’t read this post. Read it. It explains EVERYTHING.

Also, if you’re considering making a 30 By 30, keep the goals small. Don’t say, “I want to cook through Julia Child’s entire cookbook” and count it as one goal. You will regret it. Trust me.

 

Something I’d Like to Do Again:

Have A(nother) Baby.

She's my glow.

I’ve been feeling the itch to have another wee one ever since Huff the Babe turned 1. Plus, she needs a little sibling. Just not yet!

 

Goal I’m Most Proud Of:

Tie: Run a Marathon and Pay Off All School Loan Debt.

angels

Running a marathon is HARD. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Next to childbirth, it is the most difficult thing I have ever done.

When Huff the Hubs and I got married, we both brought in student loan debt. We wanted to be completely debt-free before we had a baby, and we met that goal! In a little over a year, HtH and I were able to pay off over $20K in debt! We were both so proud (and thankful)!

 

Goal I Didn’t Accomplish (And Wished I Had):

Tie: Get a Literary Agent and Buy a House.

Soon.

Soon.

 

I’m still working on finding an agent. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it happens at least before I turn 35! I told myself I’d try for a certain amount of time and, if it hadn’t happened yet, I’d assume it wasn’t meant to be and I’d throw in the towel. (Here’s hoping I hang on to that towel for a while!)

Don’t get me wrong, I am so incredibly grateful to my sister for letting Huff the Hubs, Huff the Babe, and I squat at her house. It’s helped us save for a down payment and has also helped her to have someone home to take care of her pup while she’s working on her Master’s. But still, I’m ready to have a house of my own. But, I know everything happens for a reason! There’s a reason we haven’t found one yet and I’ll just have to accept that and move on!

 

 

And with that, I promise to not post about my 30 By 30 Again. (Mostly because now its a 40 By 40–ha!)

 

Dare to Dream…?

 

Before I go into today’s post, I want to preface with a few things. First, let it be known that I’m really not trying to be a Debbie Downer. And second, I’m not fishing for compliments. This is genuinely me trying to work through my thoughts in blog form. Get it? Got it? Good.

 

Here lately I’ve been feeling pretty forlorn. I’ve had my YA novel completed for months now, and reaching out to literary agents to get some representation but to no avail. I’ve been getting rejection after rejection.

 

tumblr_md71i5EsN91rk1afjo1_500

 

And I know that, as a writer, you’ll get a thousands No’s and you only need one Yes. But dang! when am I going to get that Yes?! I have an email folder and a file folder full of rejection letters (that I will use to wallpaper my office in my mansion after I become a famous author so I stay grounded) and I’m getting a little sick of it.

 

I’m starting to doubt my abilities as a writer (even though my manuscripts have all been critically-acclaimed by ME) and I’m starting to wonder if I need to keep pursuing this dream. Maybe I’m not as good of a writer as I think I am.

 

you suck

 

But then I think: “No. You don’t suck. JK Rowling was rejected twelve times before she got an agent, and Judy Blume spent two years getting nothing but rejection letters. You can do this.”

 

 

People always ask me, “Why not self-publish like you did with The Speaker?” Self-publishing costs a pretty penny if you want to do it right. Books aren’t necessarily always in the stores, and plus, with the marketing you have to do (all on your own, I might add) it basically becomes your life. Can I really do that with a full-time job, a husband, and a kid?

 

 

I just don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll keep pursuing this crazy dream until I either find an agent or get tired of trying. I hate to think of me giving up, though. I hate giving up. I mean, I wanted to give up so bad during the marathon but I didn’t. I just don’t know if this particular marathon is worth running.

 

I guess I’ve got a lot to think about.

 

thinking

 

 

What about you? Do you have any goals you’re working to achieve? Do you want to give up? Are you? Why or why not?