Mommy Monday

 

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The other day, I was talking to a friend, mourning the fact that I haven’t been doing regular Tot School activities with Huff the Babe. I mean, when Huff the Tot was his age, I was doing alphabet flash cards, color songs, and reading at least five books a day to the girl.

“Poor Huff the Babe,” I said to my friend. “He’s getting the raw end of the deal.”

“It’s just the curse of the second child,” she said. “They don’t get as much as the first.”

Which is the cold, hard truth. With your first kid, you have a lot more time–there’s only one of them after all! So many things change once you go from one kid to two. Or two to three!

 That’s why this video from Story of this Life really hit the nail on the head!

 

What differences did you experience going from one to two (or two to three? Or three to four, you brave soul!)? Share in the comments below!

Mommy Monday

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If you haven’t been on Facebook, Twitter, the Internet, to the grocery store, or watched the news lately then you probably haven’t heard that there was a total solar eclipse today. This is quite a big deal as another total solar eclipse will not happen again for another seven years.

While I think its cool in a, “Hey, there’s a solar eclipse. Neat.” sort of way, I’m not too hyped about it. There are some things, however, that feel like they happen every seven years–because they’re so rare–that I do get excited about. For example…

My family all eating the same meal, without a fight.

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Normally, I make Huff the Hubs and I something and then the kids get something else. Because I know that they will throw a big ole hissy fit about eating salmon or some kind of chicken that isn’t golden brown and dinosaur-shaped. But, there are rare occurrences when I say, “Too bad, so sad,” and errybody has to eat what I cooked for the grownups and it actually goes well!

All the laundry baskets empty AT THE SAME TIME. 

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Most days I get about 1-2 loads of laundry done and then they sit in baskets until laundry overflows in said baskets and I’m up folding clothes until midnight. But, once in a blue moon, I get laundry washed, dried, folded, AND put away ALL in the same day. Its glorious.

My children sleeping in past 7:00 a.m.

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No matter what time my kids go to bed, they are almost always up right at the stroke of 7:00 a.m. They could’ve gone without a nap the day before and didn’t fall asleep until 10, but rest assured, they’ll be saying, “Mommmmmmaaaaa!” before I can hit snooze. There are some times, though, that they sleep until 8:00 and I’m actually able to do stuff. Like, drink coffee before it gets cold and actually eat a healthy breakfast.

Wearing a white shirt the entire day without spilling something/my kids rubbing food on it.  

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I don’t buy white clothes. Not only because my kids can attract any mess within a 1-mile radius, but also because my nickname is “Messy Jessie”. So any time I can wear a white shirt without dropping a drink or a meal on it, I feel pretty accomplished.

Only having to ask Huff the Hubs once to take out the trash. 

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Calm down, I’m not going to get into a husband-bashing debate. But come on, all you wives out there know what I’m talking about. You’ll ask your hubby to take out the trash after dinner. And then again after the kids’ baths. And then again after you’ve tucked them in bed. And then you’re both laying in bed and you say, “Honey, did you take out the trash?” So when it only takes ONE TIME to ask and it gets accomplished, its basically the same feeling you get when you find $20 on the street.

Eating a warm meal. 

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You know that scene in A Christmas Story when the mom sits down to eat but can’t even take one freaking bite because her family keeps asking her to get them stuff? Yeah, its funny because its true.

Going to the grocery store without enduring any meltdowns. 

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“We just need a few things. We won’t be long.” HAHAHAHAHAHA! Famous last words. The grocery store and I are not on the same page when I bring the kids along. Why can’t they have a drive-thru?! Why must they put all the candy by the registers?! Its like they WANT you to fail. Sigh. So whenever I can go through the store quickly and without a major meltdown, I feel like a total bad-a!

 

What about you? What “rare occurrences” would you add to the list? Share in the comments below!

 

 

 

Mommy Monday

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Before I became a parent, I would sometimes get a little annoyed with people that posted every ten minutes on Facebook about something their kid did/said/pooped or about the struggles of being a parent. Now, however? I totally get it.

I know some people get irritated with (mostly) SAHMs posts about their kids. I mean, there’s even blogs about it. But imma let you in on a few reasons why SAHMs, such as myself, tend to post so much in a day.

 

1. We’re bored. 

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. But you can only dress and re-dress a Barbie and listen to another hour-long Minecraft monologue before you crack. Sometimes you just need to zone out and tweet a little something to break up the monotony.

 

2. We want to feel connected to the outside world. 

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There are many days that the kids and I don’t leave the house. Sometimes its because there’s just so much to do around here or because I don’t feel like taking the kids to the store with me. Either way, if you go two or three days without stepping foot outside, you start to get a little cabin fever. Its like when Netflix asks you if you’re still there after binge-watching Gilmore Girls for three hours–we want people to know we’re still around!

 

3. If we don’t post a picture of our kid or tweet a funny quote they said, we will probably forget. (And trust me, we want that ish on our #Timehop next year!) 

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At the beginning of the year, I saw an awesome commercial for this app called Chatbooks. It basically takes all the pictures you post on social media and makes it into a scrapbook FOR you! They automatically send once the book is full, and its only $8! Its awesome for the time-crunched Momma that wants to make sure she captures everything. Drawback? Your friends have to put up with your constant picture posting (#sorrynotsorry).

 

4. We need to know we’re not alone. 

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This parenting gig is tough. And honestly, nine times out of ten when we post something, we want to hear that we’re not the only ones going through this season of constant diaper changes, potty accidents, and tantrums over the wrong color sippy cup.

 

5. Sometimes, our kids do genuine adorable things and we want to share their adorableness with everyone. 

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Everyone thinks their kids are the cutest and we just want other people to share in an “Awwwww!”-worthy gush with us. So go on, throw ’em bone. Give ’em that “like”.

 

But I get it, sometimes its eye-roll inducing when you see that same mom with yet another status update about the “very large poop that could rival a grown man’s” or how they’re “constantly cleaning boogers off the wall” or “drowning in a sea of diapers”.

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Maybe this will help you understand us a little better. Or, ya know, just click the “unfollow” button. Whatevs.

Mommy Monday

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Sorry I’ve been M.I.A. for a bit, my sister and her brood were in town and we had to cram in a year’s worth of memories and fun in just eleven days! Its been a whirlwind around the Huffman Homestead full of cousin sleepovers, late nights, lots of ice cream eatin’, and TONS of giggles. Now that the Smiths are back in Ohio, we can get the kids back on a normal sleeping routine. Which, in and of itself, is a lot like trying to tape a document back together once its been run through a shredder.

 

 

Sleep training (and sleep re-training) is the worst. Solidarity, Mommas.

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Tomorrow is the Fourth of July and I know many of you with small children will be loading up the family and taking them to see fireworks. May I offer you a piece of advice?

 

DON’T DO IT!

 

Seriously. Just don’t. Why? Oh, I’ll explain. Welcome to my presentation: The Seven Stages of Going to See Fireworks With Babies and Toddlers as told in gifs.

 

Stage One: Excitement

Husband: “Honey, the Air Force Base/church/local petting zoo/tire and lube express is putting on a fireworks show for the Fourth! We should take the kids!”

Kids’ reaction:

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Your reaction:

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Stage Two: Prep

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“Johnny needs diapers, wipes, a sippy cup, and hat. Suzy needs a water bottle, a change of clothes, and her favorite bear. We also need bug spray, sunblock, lawn chairs, snacks, a cooler…”

 

Stage Three: Finding a Spot

You will NEVER find one close enough no matter how early you arrive.

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Stage Four: Waiting For the Fireworks

“Mommy, when do they start?”

“Mommy, where are the fireworks?”

“Mommy, I want to go home!”

“Mommy, I need to pee!”

“Mommy, I’m hungry/hot/thirsty/have to pee AGAIN!”

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Stage Five: Pandemonium 

The fireworks start and the children lose their ever-loving minds and scream, cower, and hide. Meanwhile, you’re trying to keep everyone calm so you don’t make a scene/ruin someone else’s time:

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Stage Six: Regret

You to Husband: “WE’RE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!”

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Stage Seven: Denial and Forgetfulness

The next year…

Husband: “Babe, let’s take the kids to see fireworks!”

You:

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Sound familiar?

Mommy Monday

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As moms, we know that our work never stops. There’s always laundry to fold, dishes to wash, boo-boos to kiss, tantrums to soothe, and booties to wipe. Our “shift” is never over; its a 24/7/365. The oh-so-funny ladies at My Life Suckas knows what we’re talkin’ about. Just check out this parody of Bruno Mars’ 24K Magic— you’ll be feeling hashtag same, sistah.

 

Mommy Monday

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Today has been one of those days, y’all. Those days that include you literally biting your tongue so you don’t completely lose your ish, sneaking into the other room to inhale a bag of chocolate, and counting down the seconds until naptime.

If you’re like me, on days like this you’ve got to laugh to keep from crying. And I’ve rounded up a bunch of parental puns sure to get you through until your hubs gets home so you can hide in the bathroom to drink wine and surf Pinterest. Enjoy!

 

 

 

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