Ever since I got pregnant, women have been telling me things to “get ready for”. I knew some of them, but others were a little mind-boggling:
“You’ll never have dry underwear when you pee EVER AGAIN.”
“Your stomach will NEVER shrink back to its original size.”
“The days of getting 5 hours of sleep in row are long gone.”
Each complaint varied from woman to woman, however the constant gripe was: “The glucose test is AWFUL.”
From the way many of my friends (and random women at Walmart) talked, the glucose test went something like this:
1. You can’t eat anything past noon the day before.
2. You can’t get to the doctor’s office until 9:00 a.m.
3. The nurse will give you a gallon size jug of the most disgusting beverage ever (think Drano with an orange aftertaste).
4. You have one hour to drink the Drano and the nurse watches you like a hawk shouting “Chug, chug, chug” like a frat-boy.
5. After you drink the entire thing you have to wait three hours. Then they take a bag of blood from your arm.
However, MY glucose test went like this:
1. Wake up at 5:30 so I could eat breakfast. (I only had to fast one hour beforehand.)
2. Get to DLO at 7:00 so I could drink the stuff.
3. Drink a very tiny bottle of a beverage that tasted like Orange Gatorade mixed with flat Orange Crush (it actually wasn’t difficult. It was kinda good, actually.):
“Who loves orange soda? I do, I do, I dooo-ooo!”
4. Wait for an hour.
5. Go to the back and have the phlebotomist take two tiny vials of blood. (She was super gentle; I didn’t even feel the needle!)
6. Go about my merry way.
I seriously amped myself up for this awful, horrible, totally disgusting and emotionally exhausting event. But it wasn’t like that at all. I really don’t know why the glucose test gets such a bad rep….especially since labor and delivery seems like such a hum-dinger in comparison!
For all you expectant mommies who haven’t done the glucose test, try not to fret. I know everyone’s experiences are going to be different, but just know that there is one woman out there that didn’t sit in a corner in the fetal position crying because of the glucose test.