Her’s Day Thursday

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This weekend is Mother’s Day and, even though I touched on it during my Monday blog, I want to say again how great moms are. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom wiping noses/butts/hands all day, a working mom who juggles car pools and staff meetings, a stepmom that is searching for her place in her new bonus kids’ lives, an older mom looking around at her empty nest, or an aunt that loves her nieces and nephews as though they’re her own, I salute you. You do the grunt work: the kissing the boo-boo’s, the driving to and from school events and practices, the searching your kid’s head for lice, cutting crusts off bread, wiping tears from your teen’s face (and holding back your own) because of something that happened at school, and countless other tasks that may seem menial, but to those you are serving it means the world.

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This weekend, sit down, put your feet up, and get pampered! You deserve it! And, on the off chance you’re able to go to the bathroom alone, watch this hilarious video and try to smile at the beautiful chaos that surrounds you!

Mommy Monday

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Y’all, I seriously feel like I’ve been walking in a fog the past–oh, I don’t know–three months? Four months? Its been rough. With Huff the Hubs in grad school taking super-hard-and-involved engineering classes, me working and keeping the kids all day, as well as getting up 2-4 times a night to breastfeed, I’ve been exhausted. Like, heavy-bags-under-the-eyes-having-vertigo-and-can-barely-stay-awake exhausted.

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Something had to give. I knew Huff the Hubs couldn’t just STOP grad school. I mean, it’s free (his work is paying for it), he’s already halfway done, and it will help our family in the long run. I didn’t want to put both kids in daycare and I was not about to stop nursing (personal choice; don’t get all butt-hurt thinking I’m insulting formula-users. I’m not. Check yourself before you wreck yourself). So the only thing left I could give up was work.

So a week and a half ago, I turned in my two week’s notice.

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Honestly, it was a pretty easy decision. I’ve always known I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I wasn’t sure when that was going to happen. And, to be quite frank, I’m a little nervous.

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I know that this is going to be a big challenge. I mean, I love my kids. I love them with my whole heart. But sometimes, my patience wears thin. Like when Huff the Tot throws a fit because I made her a PB&J and not chicken nuggets even though she she said she wanted a sandwich.

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Or when Huff the Babe is screaming his head off and nothing–and I mean NOTHING–will calm him down.

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My mom was a SAHM until my sisters and I were in school full-time. She assured me that there are days that you want to rip your hair out, but that it is survivable…

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…and totally worth it.

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I know this is the right decision for me and my family, but I also know there will be good times and frustrating times; victories and failures, and days I want to be around my kids and others I’ll be hitting the door as soon as Huff the Hubs walks in.

So here’s to a new adventure!

 

Are you a SAHM? What are some ways you stay sane? Was it hard for you to make the decision to stay home? Share in the comments below!

Mommy Monday

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Because of the flexibility of my job, I’m able to work out my schedule in such a way that I can keep Huff the Babe home with me a few days a week. Its nice because I get the benefits of being a working woman as well as the benefits of being a SAHM. (And, not to mention, Huff the Babe gets my attention more.)

 

There are some days that I’m completely overwhelmed with balancing my two roles, like when my inbox is piling up and my toddler is pulling baby wipes out of the box two at a time. But, there are others when I’m in full-on Mommy Mode and can be focused on HtB that I actually get…bored.

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I think I just heard every SAHM around the nation gasp.

 

Maybe it’s because I only have one kid, or maybe it’s because there are days I’m super productive when my little Gryffindor isn’t home that, there are moments when she and I have nothing to do. Granted, those days are few and far between, but still, they happen.

 

I try to get down in the floor and play with her as much as I can. I’ll read books, we go over the alphabet, and we do some “Tot School” activities, but I also want her to be able to play independently. I feel like independent play is when a kid’s imagination can really grow and develop.

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It’s during her time of independent play* that I’ll look around and think, “Okay, I did all of my laundry yesterday. There are no emails in my inbox. Did I vacuum? Yeah, I did that Monday. All of my editing is up-to-date and I’m waiting on edits from clients. Soooo…what am I supposed to do while she plays with her Little People Noah’s Ark?”

 

Now that it’s getting warmer, I try to go out and take “Mommy/Daughter Walks” in the neighborhood, but that only lasts so long. I don’t want to plop her in front of the TV and I don’t want to go walk around Target just for something to do because I know the Dollar Spot will hypnotize me and tell me I need to buy twelve different items I don’t need. Maybe I just need to learn to savor those moments of calm because, before I know it, I’ll find my daughter throwing my phone in the toilet or trying to eat old Goldfish crackers out of the couch cushions. I’ve never really been one to “sit still”. Huff the Hubs complains every time we watch a movie because I’m almost always doing something else (like cleaning out my purse, painting my nails, or folding laundry).

 

Does anyone else ever experience lulls in your day as a SAHM? What do you do in those moments?

 

These are my confessions…

Before I got pregnant (and really up until my 5th month) I had a deep prejudice toward working moms. When someone told me they were so excited to go back to work after having their baby I would usually think the same thing: “What a cold-hearted monster!”

 

How dare a woman not want to stay home with her baby that she just carried for nine months and delivered? That’s just not right. That woman should want to be home with her child, 24/7, loving and caring for his or her needs.

 

“After all,” I thought, “my mom stayed home with us girls until we were all in school. Then she decided to go back to work. That’s how everyone should do it.”

 

Now, however, my mind has completely changed.

 

I’m not going to lie: I was really excited about going back to work today. Granted, I’m only in the office one day a week so I’ve got a pretty awesome deal that I know many women would like to have. Plus, I really like what I do. So the days I work from home don’t really feel like work because I like it, and it comes pretty easy to me.

 

As the end of my maternity leave got closer and my excitement to see my coworkers increased, I realized what a narrow-minded jerk I had been to all those working moms in the past (of course they didn’t know about it because it was all in my thoughts). I knew some moms had to go back to work—most homes need two incomes to survive (especially if this recession has taught us anything) but I suddenly realized something else: some moms like to work. And…I’m one of those moms.

 

I always thought I would be a stay-at-home mom. My mom stayed home and I LOVED it. She was always available for class parties, she was involved in so many of our activities, and I felt a deep bond with her that lasts to this day.

 

My sister is a stay-at-home mom too. And let me tell ya, that woman is like freaking Midas; everything she touches turns to gold. She bakes, she cooks, she sews, she scrapbooks, she blogs, AND she home schools.

 

So because they are SAHMs, I thought I would be too. After all, we’re from the same gene pool; I’m bound to get some of those awesome mommy chromosomes, right? Right?

 

I do think I’m doing pretty well with this parenting thing. I’m really feeling a close bond with Hermione and I’m learning to function on not a lot of sleep. And, to be honest, I don’t mind the late-night feedings and blow-out diaper changes. I want to do that. I want to take care of my baby.

 

But I also want to have something outside of the house. I want some adult-only conversations (not that the subject matter has to be “adult”; although you know I love poop and fart jokes). I want time to focus on something that stimulates my creativity. I know I could pick up a hobby like sewing or crocheting, but I love to write. And I really like my job. And I feel like I’m good at it. And—though I know this may sound selfish to some—but I feel like if I’m feeling fulfilled in something that I enjoy, I’ll be a better mother to Hermione.

 

So now I get it.

 

I get that some moms have to work, some moms like to work, and some really like staying at home. I get that whether you work in the home or out of the home, it doesn’t mean you love your child any more or any less. And I also get that we women get enough crap from other sources; we shouldn’t be giving each other a hard time just because we make different choices about work.

 

To any mom, whether you’re at home or climbing the corporate ladder, I want to tell you you’re awesome. And I promise to stop the judging. Unless you wear socks with sandals. You’ll really just be setting yourself if you do that.